Now that our World Cup hangovers have subsided, we at Sartorial Soccer are beginning to see our summer fling in Russia for what it was.
There we were, caught up in the romance, fawning over Football in the expectation she would come home with us.
We knew football was back on the market having split-up with Germany and thought we were “in there” only to discover that Football had strong feelings for Olivier Giroud.
We updated our look and told her we’d changed, that things could be different between us this time, she let us buy her drinks all night and gave us the impression she was interested in something happening between us.
Then Football told us she just wants to be friends.
Football’s just a tease.
We knew it all along.
France and Football have a thing for each other and we’re just a little bit jealous about that.
Of course Football is free to choose, the sad thing is, France didn’t even look all that.
France had let themselves go, looked scruffy and had none of the Gallic charm of previous years when they themselves were left at the bar drinking alone by themselves.
As Nike has decided that Giroud, Griezmann, Mbappe Pogba et al should wear navy rather than royal blue it meant France only made an effort to dress nicely when they wore all-white against Uruguay.
Yet France and Football still skipped away from Moscow together having broken Croatia’s hearts at the evening’s last dance.
Without so much as a glance back towards England’s elegantly cut white shirts, Football departed for Paris where she will co-habit for a couple of years with France before the European Championships gives us all a chance to turn her head again.
Until then, we should probably stick to nice girls like cricket, rugby and cycling.
Hell, even curling is worth a second look if you’re Scottish.